Search sucks! I need a break.

Search Sucks!
I Need a Break.

Search is not always easy. Sometimes you do need to stop, breathe, re-evaluate. You will probably come back with more resolve if you take that time you need.
It can be hard to keep going with so little validation of what you do. Those who presume to know your life better than you do will tell you that you're wrong. Birthparents are asked why they need to bring up a part of their past- why they can't "forget and move on," what right do they think they have to care about this long-ago "child," now an adult. Adoptees are told to be grateful, to not bite the hand that feeds, to stop "imagining" their pain and need to understand where they came from and what is inside them. It's amazing how free many people are with advice on a topic they have no personal experience with.
Spend time with people who love you unconditionally. Go to support groups where people understand, write letters to the editor and politicians about how prehistoric and contrary to human needs our laws are, get involved with a group promoting change. Join mailing lists for adoption, surf the web about it. If you get out there, you will be renewed to know it is not just your problem- it is a valid and difficult issue for many.
And remember to stretch, to live other parts of your life, to breathe. Search isn't easy. You need to learn, provide your own emotional fuel, and find renewal as you go. Be kind to yourself.
This page may help change your head climate. Hey, even James Brown stops to mop his forehead sometimes.

Rabindranath Tagore (India, 1861-1941), mystic, painter and Nobel laureate for literature, was awarded the Nobel prize in Literature for his collection of well known poems "Gitanjali".

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Where the Mind is Without Fear

Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high
Where knowledge is free
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments
By narrow domestic walls
Where words come out from the depth of truth
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection

Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way
Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit
Where the mind is led forward by thee
Into ever-widening thought and action
Into that heaven of freedom, my Creator, let my country awake

So Get Out of Your Head and DIVERT YOURSELF already!

Bitter (formerly "Full Moon Rage")
Looking for a nasty, modern heavy metal club band in the tri-state area of DE, PA, and MD? Here's your boys.

Spirit Web
Whatever you believe in, it's here.

The Straight Dope
Uncle Cecil knows all.

Lyric Server
Racking your brain? Now you can find out the name or the group!

Abuse-a-tron
Awwww, whip me, beat me, make me wear cheap suits...

Value Page
Print yourself some coupons for local stores.

Care-Mail
Send a pal an earthy postcard, support wildlife.

Killer Deals!
Los Angeles County Coroner's Gift Shop

This week's City Paper
Wonderful, progressive little rag from Philadelphia.

Strengthening Families
Rev. Thomas F. Brosnan's incredible adoption speech. AY-men to this! Spiritual, not a Christian conversion address.

National Council for Adoption (NCFA)
GET MAD! Have tissues handy for when you spit on your screen- this little gang is the biggest proponent of closed adoption records.

National Council for Ignorance (NCFI)
GET A CHUCKLE! Have tissues handy for when you cry from laughing at this parody of the above page from the poseurs of the adoption world.

Hanuman: Who's the Monkey Guy on some of the search pages?
Diverting story of Hindu god who had FORGOTTEN THE STRENGTHS INSIDE FROM HIS ANCESTORS, who was a tireless and dignified WARRIOR, who REUNITED others, and is the symbol of STRENGTH and DETERMINATION.

theTRIP.com
Watch your loved one's flight come in (and think how nutz you'll go if you need this for reunion!)

Death By Curry
Are you a Hothead? Can't get enough of that spicy stuff? Here's your page!

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The Caves of Altamira

The caves, in Cantabria, Spain, were discovered by a hunter in 1868. Visited in 1875 by Marcelino de Sautuola, a nobleman who found animal bones and flint tools, the paintings of the caves were not discovered until he returned 1879 with his little daughter Maria. It was she who first noticed paintings of bison, horses, red deer, boars, humans and palm-prints on the ceiling. The pictures, estimated to be 15,000-20,000 years old, are dynamic and the movement of the animals comes to life through the prehistoric artists' use of the reliefs and uneven surface of the walls, breathing life into the images. Thus it was that a child discovered what is often called "the Sistine Chapel of Paleolithic art". This song explores her discovery, and celebrates the intuitive link between the young and their ancestors, acknowledging the little-explored concept of shared primal memory. It also comments on the notion of predestination of beings fated to be linked, and this link being being created even before "the fall" of humanity in the garden of Eden.

CAVES OF ALTAMIRA

I recall when I was small
How I spent my days alone
The busy world was not for me
So I went and found my own
I would climb the garden wall
With a candle in my hand
I'd hide inside a hall of rock and sand

On the stone an ancient hand
In a faded yellow-green
Made alive a worldly wonder
Often told but never seen
Now and ever bound to labor
On the sea and in the sky
Every man and beast appeared
A friend as real as I

Before the fall when they wrote it on the wall
When there wasn't even any Hollywood
They heard the call
And they wrote it on the wall
For you and me we understood

Can it be this sad design
Could be the very same
A wooly man without a face
And a beast without a name
Nothin' here but history
Can you see what has been done
Memory rush over me
Now I step into the sun

Before the fall when they wrote it on the wall
When there wasn't even any Hollywood
They heard the call
And they wrote it on the wall
For you and me we understood