Search Sucks. I Need to Clear My Head.

Search is not always easy. Sometimes you do need to stop, breathe, re-evaluate. You will probably come back with more resolve if you take that time you need.

It is hard to keep going with so little validation of what you do. Those who presume to know your life better than you do will tell you that you're wrong. Birthparents wil be asked why they need to bring up a part of their past- why they can't "forget and move on," what right do they think they have to care about this long-ago "child," now an adult. Adoptees are told to be grateful, to not bite the hand that feeds, to stop "imagining" their pain and need to understand where they came from and what is inside them.

Spend time with people who love you unconditionally. Go to support groups where people understand. Join mailing lists for adoption, surf the web about it. If you get out there, you will be renewed to know it is not just your problem- it is a valid and difficult issue for many.

And remember to stretch, to live other parts of your life, to breathe. Search isn't easy. You need to learn, provide your own emotional fuel, and find renewal as you go. Be kind to yourself.

This page may help change your head climate. Hey, even James Brown stops sometimes.

Rabindranath Tagore (India, 1861-1941) , mystic, painter and Nobel laureate for literature, was awarded the Nobel prize in Literature for his collection of well known poems Gitanjali.

Where the Mind is Without Fear

Where the mind is without fear
and the head is held high
Where knowledge is free
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments
By narrow domestic walls
Where words come out from the depth of truth
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection

Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way
Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit
Where the mind is led forward by thee
Into ever-widening thought and action
Into that heaven of freedom, my Creator, let my country awake

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